It's February 29th of 2008 and I'm fighting back my tears, as I sit uneasily at a desk, in my room at the Seneca Motel and Suite, in the heart of the windy city, Chicago.
I hear the wind softly, as a high pitched whistle, while the flag in front of my window whipples in the wind, while its rope clangs against the metal pole.
I don't want to hear my thoughts, I'd rather try to listen to the people shouting across the street. However, I know I must face my fears, I have to be strong because I have two beautiful children at home, whom are counting on me. I have to get through this....I have no other choice...I can't back out...this is my last hope.
Every case of MS is different because the effected areas on our brain, spinal cord and optic nerves vary to each person. Therefore, each of us suffers differently with this disease, and every case of MS is different.
I'm looking at my precipice of prescription bottles before me. I'm currently on 13 different kinds of medications to treat the symptoms of MS and asthma. My current list of prescriptions are:
topamax 50mg, 4x's a day - to prevent migraines
valium 5mg, 2x's a day - relieves spasticity
zanaflex 4mg, 3x's a day - muscle relaxer for spasms
lyrica 50mg, 3x's day - anti seizure for clonic spasms and pain
singulair 10mg, 1 a day - asthma and allerigies
zyrtec 10mg, 1 a day - allergies
albuterol, as needed - asthma
ritilan LA 30 mg, 1 a day - chronic fatigue
macrobid 100mg, 1 a day - antibiotic to prevent urinary track infections
miralax - laxative
morphine 60mg, 2 a day - for chronic and severe pain
wellbutrin XL 300mg, 1 a day - for depression
maxalt 10mg, as needed - for migraine headaches
What scares me, is that these prescriptions don't include, what I will be taking after the transplant is over...God only knows what type of problems I will have afterwards....I feel scared...alone...and tired.
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