It was almost time to meet my neurologist and find out what this diagnosis of multiple sclerosis meant. I was petrified, blind and alone. I remember arguing with my husband, pleading with him to come with me.
"Why wouldn't you want to come with me?" I asked Jimmy.
"Someone has to run the store!" He replied angrily.
"The store can wait, don't you think? I mean isn't this doctor's appointment important? Don't you want to come and find out what the heck is going on with me?"
"No, not really."
"What do you mean no? Don't you care I'm blind?" I began to get very upset and was disappointed because I could see, he didn't care.
"You'll be fine..."
"What do you mean I'll be fine? I can't see out of my eye! How is that fine?" My voice began to raise.
"OK...I'll go...just stop arguing with me."
I felt so lost inside. I didn't understand why he didn't want to go and at this point I didn't want him to go with me, but I didn't want to go alone.
"You know what? Just go! Go to the store...you don't want to go anyway!" I yelled completely infuriated.
I got up and went out to the car, strapped my kids into their car seat and started the car.
"What are you doing?" Jimmy asked.
"What do you think I'm doing? I'm going to meet the neurologist."
He got into the car...I didn't say anything else because if I didn't leave then, I was going to be late.
I arrived at the neurologist's office and it was the same building my pediatrician used to be in. Hm...interesting, I thought.
I went in and waited for about 15 minutes. I was glad there was a large fish tank in the waiting room. I could watch the brightly colored fish swim back and forth and try to relax. I wanted to keep arguing with my husband. I was disgusted with him, but i needed to try and focus on the questions I was going to have.
I was led back into a large sunlit room, with nice wooden desk and a examination table in the back.
He had us sit down first. My kids ran around the office like maniacs and I was having trouble focusing on what he was saying. I looked at my husband who was staring at the neurologist and was wondering why he wasn't helping me with the kids so I could hear the doctor...what an asshole I thought.
I couldn't really hear the doctor because I was so distracted. However, I did hear the doc say, my diagnosis was better than having diabetes. I thought that was weird to say, and crudely wrong, considering I was blind in my eye. I began to get very uncomfortable.
He then began telling me that I needed to begin intravenous steroids right away, to stop the MS from progressing and this would be best done at the hospital as an out patient.
He handed me a bunch of different pamphlets which he asked me to read because I had to choose a medication. I had no idea what the heck he was talking about...his words didn't process in my head and I was left speechless. I couldn't even think of the questions I had for him, I was so baffled.
He led me over to my brain MRI, and pointed out the lesions and stated, "Well there's no doubt you have MS from the looks of it here."
The secretary told me she call later with the information I'd need to go to the hospital. I grabbed my kids and left.
I couldn't believe what was happening. I had no answers and more questions then ever.
I thought, who else is going through this?
Read the beginning of this story here.
Read part II of this story here here.
Read part III of this story here.
"Why wouldn't you want to come with me?" I asked Jimmy.
"Someone has to run the store!" He replied angrily.
"The store can wait, don't you think? I mean isn't this doctor's appointment important? Don't you want to come and find out what the heck is going on with me?"
"No, not really."
"What do you mean no? Don't you care I'm blind?" I began to get very upset and was disappointed because I could see, he didn't care.
"You'll be fine..."
"What do you mean I'll be fine? I can't see out of my eye! How is that fine?" My voice began to raise.
"OK...I'll go...just stop arguing with me."
I felt so lost inside. I didn't understand why he didn't want to go and at this point I didn't want him to go with me, but I didn't want to go alone.
"You know what? Just go! Go to the store...you don't want to go anyway!" I yelled completely infuriated.
I got up and went out to the car, strapped my kids into their car seat and started the car.
"What are you doing?" Jimmy asked.
"What do you think I'm doing? I'm going to meet the neurologist."
He got into the car...I didn't say anything else because if I didn't leave then, I was going to be late.
I arrived at the neurologist's office and it was the same building my pediatrician used to be in. Hm...interesting, I thought.
I went in and waited for about 15 minutes. I was glad there was a large fish tank in the waiting room. I could watch the brightly colored fish swim back and forth and try to relax. I wanted to keep arguing with my husband. I was disgusted with him, but i needed to try and focus on the questions I was going to have.
I was led back into a large sunlit room, with nice wooden desk and a examination table in the back.
He had us sit down first. My kids ran around the office like maniacs and I was having trouble focusing on what he was saying. I looked at my husband who was staring at the neurologist and was wondering why he wasn't helping me with the kids so I could hear the doctor...what an asshole I thought.
I couldn't really hear the doctor because I was so distracted. However, I did hear the doc say, my diagnosis was better than having diabetes. I thought that was weird to say, and crudely wrong, considering I was blind in my eye. I began to get very uncomfortable.
He then began telling me that I needed to begin intravenous steroids right away, to stop the MS from progressing and this would be best done at the hospital as an out patient.
He handed me a bunch of different pamphlets which he asked me to read because I had to choose a medication. I had no idea what the heck he was talking about...his words didn't process in my head and I was left speechless. I couldn't even think of the questions I had for him, I was so baffled.
He led me over to my brain MRI, and pointed out the lesions and stated, "Well there's no doubt you have MS from the looks of it here."
The secretary told me she call later with the information I'd need to go to the hospital. I grabbed my kids and left.
I couldn't believe what was happening. I had no answers and more questions then ever.
I thought, who else is going through this?
Read the beginning of this story here.
Read part II of this story here here.
Read part III of this story here.
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