The Iron Face

I am almost half way through this semester . . . it has gone by way too fast. I have been forced to take numerous days off and stay inside because of the polar vortex and the lack of proper snow removal in Kingston. In between the insane weather conditions and dealing with the flu I have been constructing steel boots in the sculpture department. What I thought would be an ordinary task has been anything but that . . . because the departments at SUNY New Paltz are divided and we cannot use other tools, equipment, or ask other professors opinions outside of our department. This has left me in the dark, so to say, with forging steel boots with an oxy-acetylene torch, MIG, plasma cutter, needle nose, a vise, and a tool I fabricated. The process has been long and torturous. I began with half inch thick steel plates to create the sole of the boot, cutting it with an ancient plasma cutter (designed to cut steel 1/4 inch thick) into the approximate size I would need . . . this process took an entire day. I then welded the two pieces of half inch steel together, so the base of the boot would become one inch thick. At this point I decided I should make a prototype from paper mache to see how big I would want it, as well as the shape I desired.

I took the cardboard sole from the prototype and traced it onto the steel. I then began the most labor intensive part of the process, cutting the sole with equipment that couldn't get through the one inch thick steel. After spending a grueling 12 hours on cutting out the soles I was tempted to give up. My body ached, I was filthy, it looked like shit, and I began to wonder if I could even manage to create this piece with the equipment available.

To add to this conundrum, my left leg went numb, my stomach has been bloated and tender and my digestive track wasn't working. Every night I came home from school I have been researching possible causes and solutions to my digestive issue, as well as ordering herbs looking for a natural remedy. I was frightened my multiple sclerosis was on the verge of flaring up and I was entering a relapse because of the neuropathy!

Over the course of two months, I have changed my diet multiple times, tried cleanses, tonics, herbs, liquid diets and fasting . . . everything has only provided temporary relief and has not resolved the problem. I began feeling malnourished, exhausted and realized I needed outside expertise to resolve my medical condition.

My passive aggressive default nature presented itself and I began fighting my problems from all different fronts . . .

I scheduled an appointment with doctor who I saw today.

I then decided to ask the tech (Steve who fixes the equipment in our department) if he had any ideas as to how I could cut the soles of the boots other than the methods I was using. He saw what was happening with the plasma cutter . . . it would begin cutting into the metal, turn into liquid and re-attach itself back onto the metal I was cutting causing ragged edges. He changed the blade on the band saw . . . and . . . voila . . . problem resolved! The cutting began going smoother, less labor intensive, still slow but much more smooth . . . I hugged him I was so grateful.

This week I have almost finished the toe section of the boots, which is the second hardest task in the creation of this art piece. I am finally feeling I can conquer this bitch of an art project and I am getting excited.

I am also happy to report that my leg today has become less numb (hooray) and the feeling is returning.

BUT

my digestive system is still malfunctioning. The doctor has ordered numerous tests and is conferring with the new doctor at his practice - an herbal MD. Unfortunately some of the news they broke to me today has revealed I may have yet another medical condition. Depending on the results of the tests they are performing they will let me know if they think it's necessary I receive a colonoscopy to see if I have diverticulitis or crohn's disease.

When I left the office tears were pooling into my eyes and I could barely breath . . . my hands were trembling and my feet fell numb. I wanted to scream, cry, call someone up, but instead I got into my car and drove away fighting the tears back as I drove home.

I said to myself, "Come on, your stronger than this, you can get through this, there's always alternatives, herbs and remedies . . . this is just another obstacle to overcome and grow from, just don't give up . . . don't give in."

It has been several hours since the doctor's visit and I feel unable to describe my emotions because I am so use to putting on an 'iron face' and revealing no emotion because I don't want to appear depressed or bring other people around me down . . . because I am the woman of steel who surpasses all obstacles and besides I have God and with Him all things are possible.

Below are photos of the steel boots in progress

Previous related post: Artist Statement

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Resolve your Progesterone Problem Naturally

I haven't posted in a while about progesterone, but I should have because I have finally resolved my my hormonal imbalance.

How?

Simple.

First I cut out estrogen producing foods such as: vegetable oil, margarine, canola oil, soy (all types), flax seeds and oil (have the potential for increasing estrogen). I won't even use foods if they contain less than 1% of soy.

Secondly, I found an herb that only increases progesterone without messing with your other hormones. It's called chasteberry. Every other natural remedy I used changed my other hormones, particularly by raising my estrogen. My system was flooded with estrogen before I discovered this remedy and I was nearly hemorrhaging when I menstruated.

The slightly frustrating thing with chasteberry is that it's trial and error with how much to use. Here's a site which discusses when your progesterone levels are at it lowest and highest, you will need to adjust how much you take according to your cycle. Obviously if you miss your period, you need to taper off the chasteberry and if your still bleeding bad you will likely have to increase your dosage.

I can't recommend this herb enough...

it really works and has resolved my hormonal issues.

I only had to take it for several months because it resolved my progesterone problems.