A Personal Note ~ To my Amazing Children

Dear James and Veronica,

I feel as though I have never conveyed how grateful I am to the both of you for loving and taking care of me all of those years when I was ill with MS. I never forgot every act of kindness, patience, and love you showed me...in my darkest times. I know mothers are suppose to be strong...but there were numerous times when I wasn't because I was so sick and leaned on you two for help.

Veronica ~

I remember how you learned to cook at a young age...because I had such trouble walking and standing. You stood in front of the stove, got out the eggs, and asked me to cook them for you. I was in such pain...I couldn't do it. You then got a chair, pushed it up to the stove and said "That's okay mommy...How do I make eggs?"

Sigh...my eyes water remembering that moment...how I adore you Veronica...

I told you to turn the stove on, crack the eggs and flip them when they turned white. I watched you from the sofa, as I was curled into a ball, from the pain.

You gently cracked the eggs against the stove, until they broke...you looked at the eggs in the pan and said "Mommy would you like some eggs too?"

You flipped the eggs, better than I ever could...you didn't even break the yolks! You then went over to the toaster and made some toast for the eggs.

You handed me a plate of eggs and toast, made by your little hands. Tears rolled down my cheeks because I was  grateful, but saddened because I couldn't be a mother.

Shortly thereafter you learned to cook pasta, macaroni and cheese, grilled cheese and Oodles of noodles. You took my place in the kitchen and became the mother. You cooked for James and I, taking care of us. Thank you...what you did all of those years...cannot be expressed in words.

I remember many times you placing a blanket on me, kissing my forehead, and saying "good night," before heading to bed. I never had to tell you it was time for bed. In fact, you often told James, to "go to bed...mommy isn't feeling good. We need to help mom, and be good."

You and James even did the laundry for me. Since you were better at folding, James washed and dried the clothes, so you could fold them. I even remember the times you put my clothes away in my dresser for me.

Then there were times you and James would clean the house...the best you could.

We wouldn't have had a clean home if it wasn't for you!

Thank you.

James ~

I never forgot the first time I came home on Canadian crutches. I felt so sad, lonely and depressed. You were only 3 years old...and you looked at me and said, "Mommy those are so cool...let me try!"

I smiled and began to cry....

You always tried to help me with Veronica, by watching over her and making sure she didn't get into trouble. I don't what I would have done if you hadn't helped me.

You helped with laundry, did chores around the house, helped me shop, carried in the groceries... you managed to do all of things I couldn't.

You would help me to my feet, get my walker or crutches and encouraged me to walk again...

When I'd fall you'd help me up.

You became the man of the house as a little boy.

Thank you so very much James...


I have often wondered if you two are angels, sent by God, to help me through my toughest times.

I wish I could of given you two the childhood you deserved. Instead the two of you accompanied me to the hospitals, pharmacies, doctors, got me my medicine, helped me to the bathroom, cooked and cleaned.

Helping me the way you guys did....kept us together! Could I ever thank you enough?

I'm sorry you guys couldn't hug me, sit on my lap or touch me because the my pain heightened when you did.  How I wanted to reach out to you guys, pull you in and hug you...I always feel sad thinking I never showed you two enough affection, when you were little and needed it most.

I'm sorry I couldn't be much of a mother all of those years...

I know I can't change the past...but I will live the rest of my life trying.

I know God created you two just for me. I've always felt so blessed to have such wonderful, supportive children. You have been my hope and light, in my darkest times of my life.

Everyone should know how wonderful you two are....

If it wasn't for the two of you...I wouldn't be who I am today. You are the strength, determination and courage I need to defeat MS.

I love you both with every beat of my heart....
 
Mom ~

A previous post of mine, How I Defeated Multiple Sclerosis